Awkward for One, Awkward for All

Social etiquette requires that we, if at all possible, not make others around us uncomfortable.  We have all experienced it; the collective, uncomfortable silence.  “Somebody say something,” we think to ourselves.  I was once at a social gathering where my host commented that although she was already my wife’s Facebook “Friend,” she would not “Friend” me because “that would just be weird because you’re a married man.”  I thought, “Yes.  That is weird...now...because you’ve just made it awkward for everybody listening.”  I do understand that for some people social media can mean nefarious business.  One does not need to be Facebook “Friends,” however, to engage in such activity as even the messaging capability is available to everyone, “Friend” or not.  Regardless, this person felt awkward with the concept.  I can comprehend that.  However, she made her awkwardness everyone’s awkwardness as thoughts of infidelity spread throughout the room.  I call this the “Awkward for One, Awkward for All” scenario.

A mother is nursing her infant in public...with her breast!  This may be an awkward situation for some, especially Americans, even if the woman is covered.   When I was stationed in Europe, I often witnessed women breastfeeding their baby uncovered.  At first I was uncomfortable.  I grew up in the U.S. where women rarely breastfed and when they did they were most certainly covered.  Rather than make my discomfort everyone’s discomfort, I took my cue from the Europeans around me who did not make a scene of it.  Today, I am fine being around a woman breastfeeding, covered or uncovered, but I know not all are.  In fact, some may not only feel awkward about public breastfeeding but may actually be against it.  They may even make passive aggressive comments about it.  Their discomfort becomes everyone’s discomfort, and that is poor social etiquette.

This post itself may have made you feel uncomfortable but what did you expect on Hardly Tolerable?